We have many beliefs; in god, in the prophets, in the philosopher and their teaching. Some even belief in ghost. From young I was not taught of any of such worshipping of supernatural powers. I was taught to learn from my actions of cause and effect. Every action has an equal opposite reaction. Being brought up so much with that thinking, it is very hard for me to change and believe things just for granted.

But I do believe in certain things. I believe in fallen angels. Though not in a supernatural way of wings popping out of naked peoples’ back but as in a person who was once a great image plunges into their short comings for whatever reason. In my eyes I saw many of such people. They do great things they were at their peak of their life. Things were going well with their abilities and what they had. But with such great gains comes a great fall. Somehow they lost so much that they are too stuck in their own anxiety to come back.

I’ve seen friends who scored A’s in every exam. Very smart people who are always above me in everything I do or they are better than me in something. To see them had hit a brick wall and could not get back up sadden me. To see something that was once great fall in my eyes is very painful. Some of them were my hero in things I cherish, things I wish I had, and things I envy.

A Russian saber Fencer Pozdniakov was once a great unbeatable athlete. He was my hero in the world championships and Olympics but now to see that his age caught up with him. He couldn’t perform as he was able to. In the Beijing Olympics 2008 he lost badly to a Frenchman very badly and just could not get enough to fight Montano, his rival whom he had continuously beating for the past several years.

I saw couples time and time again to fail in their relationship after they show great affection for each other. They were what I once hope to have one day, a perfect relationship (very hard to imagine). The partners were great people who could do extraordinary things with their moral support for each other. Once broken up, I see them sad, lonely with depression.

All these people I’ve met all had something great in them where everyone wish they had or able to. Watching the aftermath of their loss is just another bittersweet. Other people start judging on them, criticizing on them for their one failure. I pity those who had something but lost it all just because of one thing. I wish I could help them achieve back they once were; for them to have one last chance in a shot of glory before throwing the towel. At least they could say I’ve did what I can and I never regretted from it.

I wanted to see them rise again showing their true colors and shine just once more their essence in life. Seeing them struggle for one last breath in life moved me to watch it is all that is left for them. I’ve seen a person who was paralyzed completely sitting on a wheelchair. In a sense he seems like an empty vessel lifeless as the world progress in front of his eyes and not being able to do anything. The only thing he could move was his eye a doctor diagnosed and treated his virus.

He was given a dose of a drug and within minutes it had taken affect. He was fighting it. He put all his effort and what he could to move again. Slowly bit by bit, shaking he was able to speak and mumble some words. His hands slowly reached out in desperate for his wife. He tried so hard to stand never giving up on life even if it means that he could fall out of the wheelchair he sat. His wife and children were supporting him as he stood up. Shaking but still able, he was brought back to life.

I was taken so much, by these fallen angels. I wish so many times that I was them; being able to rise up doing something great. But come to think of it………  I am a fallen angel, we all are. All of us did something that others are proud off. We succeed in something that others wish they had and everyone had their bad moments. All we need is to just someone to be there when we need them the most. 

Hi people. There is something that kept bugging my head for years and years and since when I don’t usually buy stuff for other guys often cause I’m not in love with them (I’m straight >.<) but I do really wonder as many other girls do: “what gifts to buy a guy?” So it’s like my sister’s boyfriend’s Bday coming up this Friday and like many other girls who came to me (yea you people come to ask me what to buy not say u are going to buy it for me right?) asking what to get their BF.

But seriously it’s hard for me to answer too. Every guy has their own personalities and wants. Some people may like what I like while others don’t. It’s like the saying one man’s meat is another man’s poison”. With such said, I would be irrelevant to ask another guy when he is not that close to the person whom the gift is for. For me as a giver of gifts (only those I could afford), I also have many debacle on choosing not only the right gift but what type of gift. Somehow I wish many people are kids. Kids will always love one thing; toys!(Or some cases candy). I felt that they are easier to trick into for them to accept a gift and be happy about it. Even if it is a cheap pasar malam bought. Such dumb kids XD( just kidding)

Well I came back today and actually google this and found in the website “askmen.com” about the top 10 gifts to get guys and found actually interesting things. Well, lets go through them:

10. Magazines subscription

(I think most of my friends does not even bother to read magazines not that I know off)

9. gym memberships

(Yea I know some who would be interested in their body building and shaping but wouldn’t it still be weird to go to the guy and like “nah, here is your gym memberships for your birthday” holding out the membership card?  

8. Digital Camcorder

(wait, this website is for adults with income~)

7. PDA Cell Phones

(yup, I was right.  I don’t think you could afford a cell for another person’s bday gift unless you are working with 4 figure salary)

6. Classy Watch

(wow~ I wouldn’t mind having one myself XD but still someone got me a fake one but it still looks good. Sadly it is now broken and kept under my drawer)

5. Video Game console

(yes! Yes!! PS3! XBOX! Wii!!! But seriously these kinda gifts will cost a bomb to us who are students to get)

4. Power Suit

(yum~ I think can go get those at Polo sales where they can go up to 70% sales discount)

3. Home theater system

(okay~ back to big boys toys.)

2. Satellite Dish

(I think many of you guys have astro in your home so no need. And no! I dun care u don have in ur apartments or house in Malacca, just go back to your parents and they give u FOC for u to watch in ur home)

1. Plasma TV

(God!!!  Serious? I didn’t know I wanted it also. XD but what good is a plasma TV without other good stuff like the previous electronic devices and set and HD shows?)

Seriously I think that this is kinda out of our student’s price range. People who are rich can afford this anytime. Just swap credit card.

Well anyway from the year I enter MMU, my number of contact friends list has drastically increase from just 40 (people who I would buy a decent present) to 400. OMG! This is like crazy! Getting 400 people gifts in a year would kill me and not that I had left the safety of my parents wallets; I’ve been spending my own savings that I kept since I was young. Never ask my parents for any allowance knowing how much they had to spend on my younger siblings. I only ask them for things that I could never pay without an income like repairs, car service and other heavy stuff. Still, I paid for my own outside meals, my clothes, my books etc.

Having the problem of low cash and ideas for presents, I do what I do best(at least I think I was >.<); art work. I was good in drawing, copying, coloring, sketching, painting and photo editing.

So there are times when I really made cars for everyone. 3D cards where u could open and pops out a 3D figure with colors painted on them. Owh, not to forget the cool art show called “ART ATTACK” that was used to play on Disney channel when I was a kid.

A British guy taught me many tricks here and there to make art work form cards, to clays, to paper mashe creating so many cool stuff that I could find in the household. Heck I even had a book about these art works. So I created a few things for my friends and boy~ do they take time. Some is worse when I don’t have the materials. I have to spend some more @@.

Well another thing I was pretty good as (again, “I think”) was that I was always a good event planner, so to speak. During secondary I was the person in my group who always plan events and outings for everyone to do and the one that makes the arrangements. Dam costly I can tell you that. From all the sms and call can cost up to RM50 just to plan. That haven’t include the work later and the cost of the event let it be a trip, a movie, games, etc. So when I came to MMU I was able to make some birthday parties for some people. I know a lot of places in Malacca last time where people introduced to me and I go scouting myself to have a party. There are a few criteria for such planning.

1. of all is the price where we need to pay for the function
2. is where the place is, cause not many of my MMU friends (not Malaccans) have no cars and transportation is a problem. It would also mean that they don’t know the place and how to get there.
3. Next is who will be going because face it, I have so many sides of friends who are quite particular about other people coming. Trying to please those people would be hell for me.
4. Timing I have to find and coordinate with everyone the time to be there and the time to leave their stay.
5. Transport problem as to those people who does not have cars have to follow others (I still have to arrange that =.=)

Man, I had so many memories of such big events that I planned. Some very stressful in the beginning but later was like a burden lifted off my shoulders. I went like Ahhhhh~ I can breathe now. So my present to you guys would be my present for you =)

But here is an idea. From my point of view, a gift should be personal from you to the other person. Let it represent you in it as well as what the person likes. In other words get the person let it be a guy or a girl a something that u know and likes about him. The present can cost from just one dollar or up to hundreds depending on what matters. A single pen that cost 80 cents could even mean more than a 60 Ringgit book. Why? Because you and that person may have made a special relationship that matters to the other person and the item that connects you to him can be the gift that you could give. It represents both you and what he likes about you so in this sense, you are giving him a piece of yourself that is only you and no one else can tell you. =)

It has been about more than a month since BP oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico. It is a tragic disaster not for BP but for the environment. BP itself have made billions of dollars each year with its black gold and cutting corners to raise profit that is most probably the cause of this catastrophe.

They are now just paying billions in fines back to clean up this mess while one million (only) is given to all the fishermen (what the heck??)

Because of this negligence, it made the government to intervene in private companies and now more than ever, off shore oil drilling is being watched over very carefully in the eyes of the government. This disaster is a major environment disaster but not to mention of the hurricanes that hits the south as well in the season.

But as ironic as it sound, US president said that it would be better if a hurricanes hit than a small storm. Why? Because the hurricanes will break up the oil (theoretically) into smaller particles and subside while a smaller storm will just only wash the oil to the shores. In respond, Barrack Obama made a motion to restrict all offshore drilling for at least 6 months while pointing the finger directly at BP and have hundreds of top scientist flown in from around the world to solve this problem. I mean, there are so many resources are poured into this program to control the spill.

On the other hand, a federal judge had just blocked Obama’s motion. Well of course someone else will be badly affected by this move, which would be the other companies. But many people are very curious about the basis to which the federal judge acted in that manner so they did a research. To their surprise, the federal judge has stocks in the oil and drilling industry in the US. OMG!!! How can that happen? But you think that’s tough, further studies had shown that 50% of the federal judges in US have personal interest in the oil industry which would render them having no integrity towards this case, having conflict of personal interest.